Bribe vs Reward

Do you know the difference between a bribe and a reward?

It’s easy in theory, right? A bribe is something you’re offered in order to do something you didn’t really want to do, whereas a reward is given in recognition of effort, or achievement. But is it really that simple, and when is one better than the other?

I have a two year old little girl at home, and I’m constantly weighing the advantages, and consequences, of using bribes vs rewards on an hourly basis.

Now don’t get me wrong, bribes are not a bad thing. They have a really valuable place in both dog training, and toddler negotiations, and I use them regularly. The different though is that I don’t confuse a bride with a reward.

If a bribe has been offered in order to get a desired result , I make sure to take a mental note of what could have been done differently in order to avoid having to offer a bribe again next time.

Bribes are really good at defusing situations, but they don’t promote learning as well as rewards do. It’s also really easy to get reliant on a bribe, to the point where you are constantly having to using it, because your dog (or toddler) wont work without one.

Confused? Let me explain:

Last night Georgia had a full meltdown when I tried to get her dressed before bed. I wasn’t going to force her into her pj’s, but our bedtime routine was at a real risk of being derailed. We still had to brush teeth, and read some books, and sing a song, and snuggle with all her stuffies…but right at that moment I was faced with a little, naked, rage machine.

Out comes the bribe.

I whisper in a quiet voice “if you help me put on your pull-up and pj’s, we can get three mini marshmallows from the cupboard.”

Instant cooperation. Child clothed, and in bed asleep within 20 mins,

Now I could have waited for her to calm down, distracting her with different activities until she was ready to put on her pj’s, but the risk was that the longer I waited, the more tired she would become, and the harder it would be to get her to sleep.

How can I avoid a similar meltdown tomorrow? Serve dinner a little earlier, and get her into a bath before bed, that way she has to take off her day clothes (that was last months meltdown). Once she gets out of the bath she’ll be cold and ready to put on her pj’s without much fuss. Best part of all, getting ready for bed early means they’ll still be time for a little more play before bed, and everyone knows that play time is one of the best rewards!!

Okay, but how does this relate to dog training?

You’re at the park and you call your pup to Come, but they ignore you.

You call out “Cookies!” (a bribe), and your dog comes running. This happens to you most days, progressing to the point where you actually have to get the treat bag out of your pocket and wave it at your dog before they come.

What could you do differently?

Practice “Come” with your dog before you go to the park, rewarding them with delicious treats each time they come to you. Ask them to come when they’re most likely to listen; when they’re close and not distracted by something fun.

Only use a bribe like “cookies” if you need to avoid a nasty situation, like an aggressive dog…or an ex boyfriend!!

Training Tip: Once you have taught your dog to come in different locations, with different levels of distraction, remember to mix-up when, and how, you reward them.

Bribe vs Reward

The take away message here is that bribes are awesome for getting you and your Little One (two legged, or four) out of a sticky situation, creating a positive experience out of something that could have turned yucky.

Always remember that our goal as parents isn’t to “bribe” our dogs or kids into action, but instead look for opportunities to “reward” progress, no matter how small.

~

The attached photo clearly depicts my child bribing our dog for attention. When I asked Georgia not to feed Jasper her ice cream, her response was “but he’s my best friend” - clearly she doesn’t understand the mechanics of bribery…or does she?